Recently being Mother’s Day in Spain I came to reflect in the concepts, feelings and attributions commonly attached to women. You hear the feminine stuff and the masculine stuff. Normally both men and women have both feminine and masculine attributes. However the common understanding would be right to assume that women normally possess more feminine attributes than masculine and men more masculine attributes than feminine.
Some of this attributes that supposedly are related to the feminine are protective, soft, delicate, show compassion, emotional response, empathy, doubtful, caring for others, serving, sensibility, humbleness, submission, acceptance, modesty.
Sometimes I heard others say that women are fierce, I ask, explain? Yes, they fight like an animal to protect what is theirs. Like what is theirs, I ask? They say, the husband, defend their kids. Women are so jealous. And so, there we go again.
The ones link to the masculine are power, strength, practical thinking, leadership, arrogance, selfishness, violence and others.
I observe the world where we women live, I stop and watch you, look at you, listen to you. We grow with the cultural and social understanding of gender role. We are told what is feminine and what is masculine. And we built from there, we look around and indeed the role is represented so well by the women around us. Caring for the elderly, caring for the children, caring for the husband, caring and serving others. What does society value most? The person who raises you out of love and devotion or the person who went out built a career and success among their peers and brings money and provides the material commodities in the family. Who represents each role?
We grow up hardly seeing any women leading companies, making political decisions. We grow up going to workshops and talks where, mainly men talk, even about women issues!!! And it is largely seen as ok.
You observe your mom your grandma, your aunt…growing up, they are serving, they normally don’t have financial independency. How can they scape a marriage with no means. They serve and tend to others (always voluntarily?). They are the first ones that show you love, empathy. But they are also the first ones that show you submission, acceptance, silence.
Is this in our genes? Absolutely no!
Please colleagues, friends, moms, sisters… make sure the young girls around you know there are many ways to be a women, that feminine and masculine are social constructs. That women are not biological built to be serving, caring for others, that we can be powerful, have a big and strong body, kick ass, occupy space, think practical and critical, be sensible. We can show disagreement, argue and are not hysteric or crazy for that.
The mother Earth, Pachamama same thing, you see? Feminine? Mother Earth to take care of us, to serve us? I don’t see it that way! Mother Earth can be furious, has a very critical thinking, is capable of making so much work in sync. It’s powerful, demonstrates big time leadership, power and strength. Mother Earth can be extremely aggressive and forceful with huge waves, volcanic explosions, and tectonic plates moving, shifting, and crashing. All this is LOVE? YES! Is it love a femenine attribute? NOPE! Love is in all.
Please, stop selling me on how a women should be. I will not collaborate.